Thursday, September 24, 2015

Beer Trading is an Ass Blast

I like to trade beer, I really do. I like to try things I can't get near me, and I like to get some beer to other people that can't get it. That being said the whole thing is about 98% an ass blast.

There is always some hyped beer that someone is trying to trade just to blast you. It all goes something, like this.

  1. Find out local brewery is releasing barrel aged stout or a sour (if the sour has peaches/nectarines in it, no need to hype, the hype will come), and begin to hype all other beers from said brewery. Terrible IPA becomes really solid, their Brown Ale is out of this world.
  2. UNTAPPD 5 STARS ENGAGE (note this is where you must get your friends to do the same)
  3. Hype release on popular beer forums.
  4. Post pictures of you drinking said beer, maybe even with the glass you have no intention of ever using again. Beerporn threads work best. You may also take a picture of you drinking this at the brewery and mentioning how it is truly...the perfect beer.
    1. At this point you can also toss in a RateBeer or BA review, but that is a lot of work
  6. FT: Your new beer ISO: Proven beer that was released 5 years ago, and had a 200 bottle release, and... you know, people love it. Ensure you mention Bottle Limit, other great beers (That you already hype) by the brewery, and how long you waited in line for said beer.
  7. Have friends jump in during discussions of trade values and have them mention they completed this trade on other forum, or have seen it done. THIS IS KEY!
  8. Argue with people on forums, how if this beer was from X Region everyone would be flipping out about it.
  9. Never drink the beer, cellar it instead, hoping you can flip a five year vertical of the beer even though the brewery will be gone in two.

See....Ass Blast.